Much Obliged…

Back in grad school, I coined the phrase Obligation Nation. Borrowing from Eric Schlosser’s iconic book title Fast Food Nation, I was attempting to summarize the findings of an assignment that required the application of psychological theory/practice to my own dyed-in-the-wool neuroses. Sounds like a real hoot, right? Well, what did come from it was an apt and all-encompassing container which has served to hold, and help deconstruct, many of those less than shining moments where I’m left astounded and wondering, “why’d I do that” or “how come I keep suffering over this.” Turns out most of us possess a psychologically and socially driven sense of obligation to a slew of limiting stories and beliefs, many of which are of our own design. No wonder we’re so loyal to them — naughty little narcissists are we!

Living up to one’s obligations has become synonymous with being virtuous, yet I speak not of the legal/moral variety, that is to say paying your taxes, child support or pretending to love a gift that you actually hate. No, I’m talking about being obliged to thoughts that land us in lives of low satisfaction because somewhere along the road we bought into the notion that we’re non-creative, non-inspiring, non-intelligent, non-capable, non-lovable, non-________ (fill in your own blank). Non-sense! Such a misguided obscuring of reality serves only to transfer your power to someone, or something, that has no clue how to nurture and maintain your own innate ability to thrive and contribute.

Thanks in part to Mr. Schlosser, the days of ordering a Big Mac, large fries and a diet coke (diet? — who the hell was I kidding) are long since behind me, but in moments of non-presence I continue to pull up to hear the shrieking drive-thru drivel that my reptilian mind relentlessly spews forth hoping for my blind compliance (kindly pull up to the next window please and then, perhaps jump out of it!). These unchecked and incessant irrational thoughts are a debilitatingly common thread in the earnest dialogue of my therapy, coaching and equine workshop clients. I’d be honored if you’d join me, along with them, in renouncing our citizenship to what has become an epic and widespread Obligation Nation and, with eyes wide open, defiantly question the strength of these inglorious, imprisoning and self-imposed shackles.